What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why can't we send flat Earthers to space and show them the shape of Earth?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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What should I do if a girl whom I love asks me to be her friend?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

US moves to relocate non-essential personnel from the Middle East amid heightened security concerns - CNN

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What is your review of House of the Dragon Season 2 finale, Episode 8?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why do older men like to get anal sex?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

How does one succeed in life?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why are the bands Smashmouth and Nickelback often used as punchlines?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why do people keep saying they have evidence and have presented it that proves you're wrong even though they have none and haven't presented anything? Furthermore, what do they think you're wrong about?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why do people procrastinate and how can they stop?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What can be done to combat group stalking and harassment by an organized gang or society, particularly when they use universal sound weapons?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why is the show The Big Bang Theory so hated?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!